On Anxiety…

I am aware that to be anxious about the possibility of bad things happening is a privileged position to stand in, especially when it’s very unlikely that those bad things will even happen. However, sometimes my anxiety feels more sensible, more legitimate, and today is one of those days.

My dad isn’t the world’s greatest dad. I mean, I haven’t physically seen the guy in over seven years. We’ve been in contact the past few, even had some video chats, but let’s be real that he’s not winning any awards.

My dad lives in Florida. Florida is in the path of Hurricane Irma. My dad lives right near the coast. He’s going to Orlando, which is more inland, and it’ll be safer there. Still, I’m anxious for him.

More than just him, I’m feeling anxious for all the many millions of people who are going to be or have already been affected by this hurricane and Harvey and the hurricanes yet to come. And for the people in southeast Asia whose towns have become completely covered by water. And for those in the western United States where these forest fires burn and burn seemingly without end. I’m worried about it all.

Anxiety sometimes gets me (and others) into a downward spiral thinking of all the things that could go wrong and all the reasons I can’t do anything about it. I don’t want that to be my thought today. I want to do something to help.

Luckily I work for an organization that is one of the most reliable and responsive when it comes to natural disasters. I hope they send me to help. I hope they choose to use me in the cleanup and rescue efforts.

Anxiety can be fuel for the fire to want to do something. I hope it can be my fuel.

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