Being a human, I am especially adept at messing things up. I make poor choices daily, choices that hurt myself and my friends and the people around me. That is not to say that I do not make good decisions, but that even among the numerous good decisions there are still bad ones made.
When I was a teenager, when the vast majority of my decisions seemed to be bad, I didn’t entirely care what my life’s outcome was going to be. I was more concerned with whether or not I had the means to get out of my head for a few hours at a time. As time passed, though, those short hours were never enough for me, and the long-term began to sit before me like a villain in a movie.
Now that I am older- relative to myself, of course- and am planning to move into the next big stage in my life, I find myself struggling against the fatal flaws of my character. I want to make the choices that lead me to being a better person and that help other people grow in their own lives.
To do that, I believe it is vital to face the darkness inside myself. If I don’t acknowledge the brokenness inside me, if I just focus on the new, good things I can do, I cannot be entirely certain that the darkness will go away naturally on its own.
So for this Lenten season, which I’ve never really participated in, I’m going to be working on myself and anticipating greeting Easter Sunday with a different me. It’s going to take a lot of time and effort, but it’s what I have to do.